First of Many

One year ago today, the hubby and I experienced indescribable pain for the very first time. It was our first tragedy as a married couple. The reason? We lost our first baby. It’s the kind of pain that lingers with you even after the event has long passed. It’s the kind of pain that haunts you all the time. The sadness remains with you, deep inside your heart.

You can move on, alright, and let go of all the negative feelings. Yes, you can have your new normal, too. But the memories of that fateful day will stay in your head until you die. It’s ironic and somewhat funny because death was the cause and yet it’s also the one that’s gonna end it all, someday.

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The Road to Healing

Time. Acceptance. Understanding. Faith. All of these things work together to pave the road to healing for the hubby and me. It’s been three months since we lost our first baby and yet whenever I think of it, it still feels like it just happened yesterday. Oh, sad memories. But I digress.

I’m happy to report that we’re recovering well. We chose to believe everything happens for a reason, that’s it’s not our time yet. We won’t lose hope, for sure. We will continue to dream and work it out. Trying to conceive won’t happen until after at least six months to a year (as advised by my Ob-Gyn), though. But as early as now, I’m already preparing my mind, heart and body for my next pregnancy. I know God will take care of the other and more important preparations.

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Grieving Takes Time

Grieving takes time because it’s an emotional process that requires a lot of positivity, energy and drive. The husband and I, though it can be said that we have quite moved on from the tragedy of losing our first baby, are still grieving within. We just continue to strengthen our faith in God so we could raise our hopes and dream again.

They say people who grieve can be hard to get along with at times. True. Sometimes I don’t wanna talk to anyone and prefer to be quiet in a corner. Instead of socializing, sometimes I prefer surfing the net looking for discount coupons, browsing shopping sites or even searching for auto lift deals. Anything to make me preoccupied and not think of what had transpired on that fateful day or the things that may have led to that.

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Pregnancy Memories

The whole idea of pregnancy never fails to amaze me. Definitely, it’s one miracle that only God can produce and only women like me can experience. I feel so lucky just thinking about it.

When I got pregnant for the first time early this year, I couldn’t believe it. I remember I even thought it was impossible because I had this feeling I was infertile or something. But I did get pregnant, though it ended miserably with us losing our first baby.

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The 28th of September

It was a random Friday. The sun was up and the day seemed full of life and vigor. The road to the hospital was busy and one wouldn’t possibly feel any hint of the approaching danger in the air…

The hubby and I got up early to pay a visit to my Ob-Gyne for my prenatal check-up. I was at my 33 weeks of pregnancy then. She was friendly and warm, as usual. She asked how I and the baby were. Casually, I shared with her about the baby’s seemingly lesser movements the past days which I attributed to the limited space in my womb. The baby’s getting bigger, after all.

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Lactation Tips

As I plan to breastfeed my baby for as long as I can, I seriously need a lot of lactation tips. Actually, I’ve been reading up on a lot of materials online and found some very interesting articles. I’ve even come across organizations actively advocating and promoting this cause here in Manila.

At home, I’ve started cooking soupy dishes with lots of veggies. My favorite so far is chicken tinola with fresh papaya slices and lots of ginger strips and malunggay leaves. Aside from filling my tummy with healthy food, I also plan to get malunggay capsules because I heard it helps big time in producing breast milk.

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