I was reading several pages of a Bo Sanchez e-book titled “How to Conquer your Goliaths” last night and from there, I found out he got molested as a child. He mentioned that this sad event left him with a wounded heart and to fill that gaping wound, he felt that he needed everyone to like him. For years, he only had the intention to please other people. God has healed him eventually but he admitted “this weakness rears its ugly head every once in a while.”
But I’m not here to talk about child molestation or its long-term effects. I just thought about how many of us, molested or not, tend to please everybody. It’s as if we automatically got this intention to please the moment we were born. Worse, it’s as if our life depended on other people’s approval or good impression of us.
Personally, I have long accepted the fact that I can’t please everybody. I tried it before, but it didn’t work. Eventually, whether you like it or not, time comes when your decision or action could make somebody disappointed or unhappy. But as long as you’re doing the right thing, or just doing something that makes you truly happy at nobody’s expense, it’s perfectly okay.
On a related note, pleasing other people by doing things for them when they could do it on their own and they only need some guidance from you, is said to be a bad practice. It’s like “weakening” the weak. I’m sometimes guilty of this. For instance, when my two (out of three) siblings are in need of money a week before they receive their salaries (apparently because they have overspent!), I’m always to the rescue. I keep on giving them pieces of financial advice, though. All in the hope that someday, they would finally realize that they have to manage their finances wisely before its too late. They’re in their early 20’s and have been working for just a few years so I’d like to assume they’re not a hopeless case yet.
Do you also tend to please everybody? If yes, how do you keep yourself from doing so? 🙂
May you choose happiness always,
I think that’s one of my mistakes & I feel guity about it — Not giving financial advise on my brothers at di ko sila pinapakialaman with their finances, I’ve seen them overspent & no savings at all. Ayoko kasing lumabas na masama pagdating sa pera, pero sa na-oobserbahan medyo kailangan talaga ipa-realize sa family ang “value” ng paghawak ng pera 🙂 Hoping & praying sana maintindihan nila ako at hindi lumabas na masama.
Alam mo Grace yan din pinagdadasal ko for my two siblings. Kasi oo lang sila ng oo sakin pero di naman nagbabago. Pero meron akong little project next year irerequire ko sila magpatago money sakin ang sabi ko mag iinvest kami para maggrow ang money. 🙂
edel, sa totoo isa yan sa ugali ko na ang hirap talaga baguhin. Kaya minsan nasasabihan ako na underdog kasi agree lang ako ng agree kung ano ang gusto ng nakakaraimi. Kapag i said “no” alam kong magtatampo. Siguro kasi ayoko ng tampuhana at samaan ng loob kaya kung maliit na bagay lang naman at pwede pagbigyan hinahayaan ko nalang.
Ambait mo pala, Joy. Hehe. Ako naman minsan nagbibigay din basta pwede naman. Madali naman ako kausap at medyo matulungin din. Pero mabilis ako ma-alert pag too much na or abuso na ang ginagawa ng isang tao sakin. 🙂