my life, my joy, my dreams
Some thoughts are making me nervous and excited at the same time right now. By Saturday, I know my worries and fears will be gone. They may only be replaced either with grief or happiness. I’m desperately hoping for the latter.
I can’t wait for Saturday to come. It’s only by then that I’ll have peace of mind and closure. Or is it? I don’t know. I’m confused. It’s hard to be a negative-thinker like me at this point.
Today is such a long day. And I feel like wanting for it to end fast. I wish the clock strikes eight already so I could go home (Bacoor) and rest. I miss our home, our new sanctuary. I know the hubby feels the same. He says it all the time, anyway. Haha.
Right now, I imagine myself lying on the couch while watching TV. I guess I’m just bored to death. I hope traffic is light tonight on our way home. I wanna get home fast. At least, that’s what I want right now.
I love drizzle. I really do. But I hate it when drizzle falls on summer. Blame it on climate change (which would eventually put the blame on us because we’re accountable to nature!). It’s wet outside today because of the continuous drizzle. I feel sleepy.
Aside from feeling sleepy, I also feel the urge to eat whenever it’s raining outside. It’s a natural reaction, isn’t it? There’s something about the rainy weather that induces people to slow down and rest. And yes, eat! What’s for merienda, I ask. Haha.
In life, there are many decisions to make. Usually, we are presented with two different choices, sometimes more. We normally decide based on what we think is right, good for us, or fair to all. Sometimes, we decide based on what our heart says. We decide on what makes us happy.
This year, I choose to be happy. I choose not to make grand plans for myself, career-wise and all. I will take everything slowly yet surely. Yeah, like one step at a time. I will not expect anything. I will just let myself do what it needs to do without sacrificing the quality of my life and my happiness and those of the people I love.
Well, I just thought I won’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year of the dragon. No, it’s not because I’m not inspired nor determined to make this year as fruitful as the previous one. It’s not because I’ve stopped being a dreamer, either.
Actually, it’s simply because I don’t wanna impose on myself anymore. I don’t wanna put pressure upon myself anymore. This year, I have promised myself that I’d just do the things that will make me happy and content one plan at a time. There will be no deadlines, no impractical and impossible wishes that are only bound to make me frustrated about myself in the end.
So far, so good. If you’d ask me how’s my life been going these days, that will be my exact answer. I am just happy that blessings continue to come way and that less problems are popping up in my life.
I have a job that pays well. It may not be so secure, but at least it never fails to teach me to be appreciative of each day in the workplace. There may be other similar jobs out there that pay more, but the satisfaction I get from my job wouldn’t compare with any of them. I just want a fulfilling but stress-free job and the job I have right now definitely fits the bill.