On Genuine Friendship

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” ~Octavia Butler

I’m not shy to admit that I don’t have many friends. I’d rather have 10 real friends than 100 fake ones. I don’t know with you, but friendship is something I don’t take too much risk in. I’m actually very careful in letting people into my life. I want genuine friendship, that’s why.

While I can easily talk about my life story to other people in one sitting (chatty much!), I only share the highs and lows of my life and my wild and dark secrets with my close friends. And it makes me wonder why some people can be so judgmental. Just because you know a few things about a person doesn’t mean you know him/her already. It’s not that simple.

They say people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I think it’s very true. When it comes to making friends, I believe that genuine friendship is forever. If I would consider you as my friend, you’d have a place in my heart reserved just for you. Even if we don’t talk often, are not present in each other’s personal milestones or special events, you’re still my friend. Even if we haven’t communicated in ages, you’re still my friend and I would continue to care for you in many ways. You may not see or hear from me, but I’m just here for you. You are always in my thoughts and the random things I see (plus the four other senses) could easily remind me of you. You just have to believe in the power of our friendship just as I do. I’m a weird friend, right? Yeah, take it or leave it.

In fairness to me, I try to touch base with my friends naman whenever I have a chance. It’s just that in this complicated world we live in, we are trapped in so many distractions (e.g. technology, career, family, etc.) that it gets difficult for us to have meaningful conversations and bonding moments with our friends (and even family members for some) all the time.

I’m also the kind of girl who’s not very showy with her feelings. (I even used to think I’m a “rock” with no emotions, whatsoever.) My family and the hubby can attest to that. It’s just recently that I’ve been more vocal and physical about my love for them. Funny, but true.

I remember one time my superfriend made tampo to me because there’s this one scenario when our paths crossed in the workplace, we were walking in the hallway with our respective officemates then, and she said hi to me and I just looked at her and didn’t return the greeting, literally. She thought I ignored her when I was, in fact, saying hi back to her through my eyes. Haha. It was no big deal to me but she was hurt by my response (or the lack of it). I explained my side and apologized to her. I may have not committed a sin to her intentionally but I acknowledged the fact that I had hurt her with my reaction so I said sorry sincerely. And so we’re still superfriends (almost like sisters!) up to this day. But I digress.

Genuine friendship is hard to find. You may have been friends with someone for a long time but the deep connection isn’t there. You may have been friends with someone only for a short time and yet it feels like you are kindred spirits. The latter is the kind of friendship that’s worth your emotional investment. It’s the kind of friendship that can withstand the tests of time, distance, and space. It’s the kind of friendship that is pure, genuine, and worth keeping.

Care to share your thoughts on genuine friendship with me? Pretty please? πŸ™‚

May you choose happiness always,
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22 Replies to “On Genuine Friendship”

  1. Nung kabataan ko (parang ang tanda ko na!) I have a lot of friends! Sobra! Kaya lage akong may gala kapag weekend. Pero nung nag kaanak na ko, lumiit yung circle of friends ko. Siguro dahil na din sa priorities. Pero kahit na ganun meron pa din naman communication sa iba hindi na nga lang tulad ng dati. I even have a super close friend na ex ko nung high school. Inaanak ko pa nga ung first daughter nya. So masasabi kong friendly talaga ko pero I think hindi na masyado ngaun. Pinipili ko na din but I treasure all the memories that I have with my friends until now.

    1. That’s nice, sis! I can tell you’re friendly nga at maganda yung attitude na yan na i-treasure ang memories natin with friends. πŸ™‚

  2. I’ve lost some (close) friends due to bad blood, but some I’ve lost simply because both parties simply stopped making efforts to connect (with or without intention). Genuine friendship is hard to find and harder to keep. I do have a close circle of friends that I think are for life, and most of them naman understand na simply conversing on a daily basis doesn’t guarantee that the friendship is still going strong. It’s the deeper connection talaga.

    1. It’s sad to lose friends due to bad blood, but it’s better than prolonging the agony of a friendship that’s gone wrong. I agree, deeper connection talaga. πŸ™‚

  3. I only have few real friends, pero I can get along naman to everyone pero yung trusted talaga sobrang konti lang, at sobrang happy ako coz we treated each other not just friends but sisters. Ang hirap humanap ng kaibigan kaya sobrang trusted ko sila. Yung iba nakikichismis lang ng buhay, yung iba naman nakikipagkumpetensya, yung bang hindi masaya pag masaya ka, at ikakasaya nila pag malungkot ka kaya sobrang ingat ko ang hirap kasi kumilos sa mga ganyang tao. Sorry napahaba πŸ™‚

    1. Korek ka dyan, dapat talaga maging maingat sa pagpili ng friends. I feel sad for those kinds of people na dinescribe mo, parang wala silang sariling buhay kung makausisa, makipagcompete, at mainggit. Sana marealize nila soon na there’s more to life than that. πŸ™‚

  4. Mapili din ako sa mga friends ko now unlike dati nakikimingle ako sa lahat. I learned that I can’t please everybody lalo na kung di talaga magkatagpo ang mga attitude at character namin so let go na lang sa friendship kesa nman maging toxic ang relationship. Hehehe.

    1. Korek, pag hindi swak, wag na ipilit! Hanap na lang ng ibang kacompatible sa pag-iisip at pag-uugali. Parang sa love din yan, eh. Hehe. πŸ™‚

  5. Ako din. I have few friends. Most of them are elementary friends…friends who have stood the test of time and distance.
    This post reminded me to schedule a meetup with my bffs. Sobrang bihira na kami magkita kita. Kaya every time na magkita, non-stop ang chika. hehe.

    1. Waaah, you mentioned your elem friends kaya bigla ko rin naalala mga elem friends ko (konti lang din). Wala na akong contact numbers ng iba, buti na lang may FB. πŸ™‚

  6. Just like you, I only keep a few friends. Those who I know will fight to death If I were in trouble. I don’t care about the people who judge nor the people who ask why not a lot of people tag me in Facebook photos. Really, I could care less. As long as I have my squad with me, I’m good! πŸ™‚

    Ochi In The City

    1. Right. We really can’t please everybody naman talaga, so why bother? As long we have a few trusted friends, we should be okay. πŸ™‚

  7. Well, I agree to all the things with you said, expect that weird incident where you told hi to your superfriend through your eyes(: … I never had many friends, very few and now as 30 plus creature to have few. Of what I reliase, friendship can be a timepass or it can be something that is life sailing(: … you share movements and times and enjoy the company and you understand that maybe no you can’t be part of the person’s life in one aspect, you are very much perfect in other aspects… some friends gell with you over nothing, some friends trekking or things like that… irrespective of all that they and you care for you and love you for you no matter whatever happens(: and they come back too with hugs and good words… they make you better people… I hope whatever friends you keep stay true and keep adding value to your life… Your cool girl!! and smart.

  8. Same as you, I don’t have a lot of friends. Minsan if I already feel overwhelmed, I need to take a step back and embrace my being alone (weird). However, over the years, I have friends that I really treasure. Like what you have said, friendships na kahit hindi kayo mag usap for a long time, you know na isang message or call mo lang, andyan sila for you.

    Life has become hectic (kahit sa hindi naman gaanung busy tulad ko). We have to choose on who to spend our quality time with. I am guilty because I always end up choosing to spend it with family, lalo na at married na ako. Being away from them for so long, makes me think that I need to make up. Andami kong hindi alam na little triumphs or failures dahil nga I was away.

    Going back, I can safely say I have less than 10 good friends but I am not bothered about it kasi alam kong true friends ko sila.

    I miss reading your blog! Grabe sana magtuluy tuloy na itong paggaling ng laptop ko hehehhe… πŸ™‚

    1. I also have that random moments where I prefer to be alone. Haha. Now that you’re here in Pinas, you can do all that with your family. Bawi na lang for lost time.

      Awww, thank you! Inaabangan ko nga rin mga updates mo sa blog mo. Sana nga bumalik na sa dating lagay ang laptop mo, sis. πŸ™‚

  9. I am so like you. Chatty much. “Friendly”. But I only keep a handful of friends. As in wala pa atang 10. I also don’t invest much time, effort on others kung alam ko din naman na hindi for keeps. I even let go of a handful of friends na hindi na din talaga for keeps kasi nag iba na kami ng buhay, ng priorities. Lahat ng importante kong friends are Ninong/Ninang ni Skye. Kasi sure na sure akong tunay na friend sila. πŸ™‚ And most of my friends madalang ko din makita pero pag kailangan mo, andyan talaga.

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